My wife and I had an argument once. “What is unconditional love? No such thing exists. I love you because you are my wife. If you are not my wife but just any stranger, I won’t love you. “ I told her with a poker face. My wife was so upset. She heard nothing else, except the last part “I won’t love you”. She vowed that she would never discuss unconditional love with me again. “You just don’t understand. I love you unconditionally, “ she almost cried.
My wife is a genuine angelic Princess from fairy tales. But I am no knight to her. I am the Sex-Loving (SL) Monk, or that is what she calls me. Although I don’t really like the nickname, it is entirely factual and a good observation on her part, I must say. I have barely any material desires. If I live by myself, I can get by with minimum material things. I don’t need any good food, good clothes, good cars, good house, and not even good PC or phones. Frankly, except good instrumental music, I probably need nothing, …except sex.
I used sex-loving Monk (SL Monk), or PokiMonk as my later identity, or just Monk for short.
I used mostly the third person pronoun He to tell his story so that I could put sufficient emotional distance so as not to be too much involved emotionally in some of the difficult past memories. Everything here was literally true except names and minor details changed for privacy reasons.
I can totally understand that you cannot believe this story, because now I cannot believe it either. There is nobody on Earth more wanting to disbelieve this story than me, except that I know that I (or rather He) personally went through it all. It was extremely agonizing to go through such a long period of sex dry spell for someone who needs it every two to three days. I call that version of myself “he”, because I can no longer become him, or else I will face physical annihilation. He was very spiritual, faithful, loyal, unselfish, hard-working, and a loving family man. But he was also the most stupid and insane person who put himself at the bottom of the priority list. If there exists re-incarnation, I will not choose to become him for another thousand lifetimes, or if ever.
So let him be a distant memory that fades, away with all the past despair, but with some traces of unconditionally loves remained.
P.S. In case you can identify me or my wife from this website, PLEASE have the courtesy of NOT spreading the information of identities because my wife and I have not told our children about the divorce. We love our children very much, and we are heart-broken to go through divorce. At the moment, we are simply not ready yet to disclose it to them. So PLEASE keep it to yourself and don't let any random chance go out of hands, until this P.S. notice is removed. THANK YOU!
